Wild Wild Western Bride
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Monday, January 31, 2005
Wheeee!!!! RWA application form as well as the conference registration form are going in the mail today after I drop off ds, drop off some dry cleaning and do my grocery shopping. After all that, I'll probably need a nap. I got about 2 hours of sleep last night for all the coughing.

Just. Stop. I can hear you all already -- Get thee to the doctor, you say. Hmph. We'll see how I feel on Wednesday, which will be a week of coughing. But I swear if any of them try to take my blood, I'll cry!
1/31/2005 08:13:00 AM : : Sela Carsen : : 4 Comments

No Such Luck

Sunday, January 30, 2005
Yeah. About that transition scene. Hasn't happened yet. The headache that plagued me all week finally dissipated, but I'm still sick and exhausted. I started on it today, but it tried to morph into a sex fest. Not that I have anything against sex fests, but if they do it now, it doesn't allow for much variation at this point in the storyline. Since I just finished the "big" love scene the page before. I think I'll just do some neckus interruptus. That oughta hold 'em. At least until he dies. *happy sigh* It gets really tragic from here on out. Very Greek.

I love killing off characters almost as much as I love dying on stage. I got to do that once when I played Emilia in Othello for a director's workshop. It was one of my favorite parts ever. Great director, too. Lots of vision.

I wonder sometimes if I'll ever get another really great part. I've done plenty of stuff since college, but what I crave is something I can really sink my teeth into. Shakespearean steak instead of normal community theatre meringue. Seriously. When was the last time the local amateur dramatics group did King Lear, or A Doll's House, or even Joan of Arc? Never. They keep doing Our Town and Oklahoma. I'm so bloody bored with musical theatre I'd gladly never sing again.

I did two musicals back to back to prove to myself that I could sing in public without forgetting the words. Now I'm done with it. Now I want to go back to serious acting. There's only one problem. (Well, two. But one's simple logistics.) I'm getting too old. If I'm lucky, I've got 5, maybe up to 7 years left before I start playing someone's mother. I can't remember who said this about Joan of Arc (the Shaw version) but it was something like, "By the time you're really old enough to play Joan well, you're too old to play her at all."

It's just as well I chose writing as my primary creative outlet instead of acting. At least in writing, I don't have to worry about wrinkles.
1/30/2005 04:43:00 PM : : Sela Carsen : : 0 Comments

Flow of words

Thursday, January 27, 2005
Ahhh. I love Tuesdays and Thursdays while I edit. On these two days, I get to write. I had been reading Vogler's Writer's Journey, but I got bored. So I switched back to writing. It's no more than a short story right now. I know the title and I'm still working out the first scene. HUGE holes in what my heroine does for a living, but I know it's somehow tied to the plot. I'm just having fun writing the words now.

I don't even know my Hero's name. I know a few things about him. I know most of what he looks like, I know that his voice is ruined and broken, and I know that he is by far the most tortured, emotionally ripped up hero I've ever imagined. He's on the edge of a breakdown so he was sent on a simple mission to pick up a package named Mae Davis. She's exactly what he needs. He's exactly what she needs. And they're going to be pretty peeved when they figure it out!

But, back to editing. I'm going to fill out that transition scene today and maybe a bit more.
1/27/2005 10:59:00 AM : : Sela Carsen : : 3 Comments

Yay it's...Wednesday?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
woo. hoo.

Sorry to get so carried away by the middle of the week. I am definitely on the mend, though, so that's a good thing. Caught up on shows I had taped while ds was at preschool, and then, because the weather was SO gorgeous, we went for a little stroll around the block with a friend. Now dd is home and when she's done with her homework, off we go to guilt friends and neighbors into buying Girl Scout cookies. I'd feel worse about it if they weren't so darn good! I envision myself filling the freezer with boxes and boxes of Samoas/Caramel Delites. Well, maybe a box or two of Thin Mints for dh.

Strangely, none of this sounds anything like writing -- or even editing. Wonder if that's because I didn't do any today!! Shame on me. I can plead illness for the first half of the week, but I really need to get back on the ball and just finish Dude. I'm sick of this story hanging over my head. Best to just get it over with.

The one thing I accomplished was finally getting my Friend's links section done in the sidebar. Yay me!
1/26/2005 04:22:00 PM : : Sela Carsen : : 1 Comments

Feeling better, feeling silly

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
And that, folks, is why I abandoned philosophy. Too many $3 words, not enough real world. I think I drag them out every so often to remind myself that I used to have one of those pretentious, self-important academic minds instead of being, as I've said before, a dilettante hausfrau pounding out chirpy little stories.

I edited another page and half, but the transition is still missing something. There's an opportunity there to throw in a little heartbreak and I haven't done it. Must figure that out.

I'm tired of Dude. I want to move on to Big Bad Wolf, but I persevere. The end is soooo close!

Felt pretty decent all day -- few aches, but a nifty new barking cough. Now as the day draws to an end, I'm hurting more. A Motrin, then a Brownie meeting, then bed.
1/25/2005 05:09:00 PM : : Sela Carsen : : 1 Comments

Illness induced philosophy

Being new to the blogosphere, I've been spending a little time reading the blogs of friends, other writers, and complete strangers. And wow are there some unusual folks out there. But I digress.

From other writing blogs, it seems that lately there has been a lot of discussion about 1) the "bodice-ripper" reputation of romance, 2) whether the Alpha male is everything that is wrong with the world and it's uncivilized of educated women to be attracted to him, and 3) whether romance is part of the great patriarchal plan to oppress women and how stupid we are to let it happen.

1) People who haven't read romance but are compelled to comment on it are idiots. They will never figure it out until they come out of their sad world where there are no happy endings. Pity them.

2) This is fiction. That means that we're indulging in fantasy. Alphas in real life would be extremely difficult to live with, but that doesn't mean they're all jackasses. And speaking of fantasy, why is it that women who don't like Alpha males can call them all kinds of names while they write about predatory women who step all over people to get what they want and then try to call them "empowered"? Mean is mean, folks. Even in fiction.

3) Patriarchal? Omg. Is this seriously all you have to worry about in life? Patriarchy is a societal construct that has more to do with ambiguous attitudes than anything that one individual does. So the more unique we are as individuals, the less impact the larger construct has on our lives.

I don't know. Maybe it's that I take a more existential view of things. I am real, theoretically. Therefore, in my reality, I choose other things that are real to me. I have control over that. If someone comes into my world and tries to damage it in some way, I have control over whether I let that person in anymore.

But if your reality hinges on being a victim of some amorphous "other," then all of your reality and the reality of those in your world is colored by that.

It's also possible that this is an incredibly selfish paradigm, but it keeps me sane. I only have enough brain space to get through my own days, much less manage everyone else's delicate sensibilities.

And now my brain hurts. I haven't dragged out the old philosophy cell in a while.
1/25/2005 08:42:00 AM : : Sela Carsen : : 4 Comments

Feeling better

But not by any means whole. Strangely enough, even though I feel rotten, I've been cleaning house. What is it about being sick that makes me feel like I've got to get off my butt and DO something? So yesterday I cleaned the living room, this morning I cleaned the kitchen.

The Flu -- for a new weight loss AND house cleaning regime!

I've been mulling Dude and have come to the realization that I'm going to have to do some major work on Rose. Right now, she's Iago. Evil just because she is. She's going to need a leetle more depth than that and during my half-awake moments at 5:30 this morning, a few things came to me about her and her relationships with Willem and Richard. Sabine will also have to be bumped up since the battle occurs from her POV.
1/25/2005 07:14:00 AM : : Sela Carsen : : 0 Comments

Things I hate when I'm sick

Monday, January 24, 2005
I hate when my skin hurts. When just wearing clothes is painful, but if I don't, then I'm cold and I hate that, too.

I hate when my hair hurts. I brushed it this morning, cringing the whole time.

I hate the way cold medicine tastes. Cherry flavored my ass.

I'm normally ok with a certain decibel level from my kids, but when I'm sick, I hate when they yell. Ds roared at me last night and I swear I thought I was going to be sick.

I hate when I try to watch TV, but it feels like it's too loud, so I lower the volume and then I can't hear it.

I hate when I read a book I know I love and every other letter stares out at me like a bad 3-D movie.

And I hate when I whine. So I'm going to stop now and just suck it up.

Feel free to offer sympathy, hugs, etc. What can I say? I'm high maintenance.
1/24/2005 01:36:00 PM : : Sela Carsen : : 3 Comments

Downright Irritated

Sunday, January 23, 2005
Ugh. How did I get so sick so fast? I was fine until just after lunch when that funny tickle started in my throat. I sat up to acknowledge the sensation and realized that my neck ached as well. Definite precursors to whatever nifty virus is floating around.

And lucky me. I'm the carpool mommy tomorrow.
1/23/2005 07:36:00 PM : : Sela Carsen : : 2 Comments

Got the link thang working!

Thanks to my buddy Vanessa, aka The Great Wizard of Blog, for helping me figure it out!

Sent the blog link to dh with the heading "You're going to laugh..."
1/23/2005 01:07:00 PM : : Sela Carsen : : 0 Comments

And then there was me...

And it was ok. Really. Just ok.

Hmmm. Now that I actually have a blog, what am I supposed to do with it? I'm sure the first several posts will be quite stream-of-consciousness until I figure this thing out, so bear with me.

I'm not a poetic writer like my friend Anna, or clever like Julie, or brassy like Vanessa. I'm just me. Sarcastic, confused, loyal to the bone, and always just a little bit...off, somehow.

So feel free to leave a message. Or walk away, shaking your head. :-) Either way is good with me.
1/23/2005 01:04:00 PM : : Sela Carsen : : 4 Comments


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