I Wanna Go Fast
If you can't find the damn gas pedal with a flashlight and binoculars, you shouldn't get to drive a BMW. You should drive a rusted out Chevy Nova. There are few things in the world more frustrating than toodling along behind a car that you know damn well could blow the doors off most other vehicles on the road and they're driving 45 in a 55. WHAT THE F***????
I love to borrow dh's BMW 5 series. It's an orgasm on wheels. Smooth as sin and just as likely to get you in trouble. There is no way to feel sad or depressed when you drive something that beautiful. And you know the gods are smiling as you turn on the radio and Lenny Kravitz is blasting "American Woman." A match made in heaven.
So if the rest of you slow-pokes would kindly get the HELL out of my way, I'd be obliged.
I just watched "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" and I told my husband I want a bumper sticker that says,
"I Wanna Go Fast."
Labels: Life As I Know It
9 Comments:
If you find the bumper sticker buy one for me too. I TOTALLY WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with your blog Sela! My sister says she wants two cars when she *grows up* (she's still in school). She wants sex on wheels (Porsche, etc.) and she wants an old clunker she can ram into other people's cars when they drive like idiots. I live in Los Angeles there are a LOT of idiots here.
Oh and your blog made me laugh. I just followed a BMW 750i on a one-lane road. She was going 35 miles an hour in a 50 zone. All I could think is "oh you poor car, I'm so very very sorry!"
I'm telling you sometimes I really understand road rage!
By 
Dana Belfry, at
11:17 AM
That was a hilarious movie! And I totally agree with the post, except for some reason, here it's reversed. 90 is more apt to blow your doors off than someone going 35. Although 60 in the 70mph slow lane kills me!
And the trashier the car, the faster they go. i.e. they have no insurance. They don't care. *sigh* And it annoyns the snot out of me, because I have a kid in the care 98% of the time, but Teen Joe with his license and an urge to prove he's a man *insert eye roll* Doesn't care! Muttergrumble....
By Diana Castilleja, at
11:20 AM
There is also that new slow driver. Not afraid, not old, not drunk and trying to pretend everything's cool. And it isnt car specific either. Once saw a monster truck with flames, longing for speed going 35-yes 35 in a 55mph zone. We pulled up along side him-college boy...on the phone. Now I love my cell phone-and I talk on it all the time. But if you can't multitask than your rights are revoked lol
By R.G. ALEXANDER, at
11:40 AM
LOL -- ok, that would be me but on a Harley!
Cole
By Cole Reising, at
1:15 PM
Love the post, lol!
However, I'll have you know that me and my old rustbucket kick ass on an open road, 'kay??
But it would be dreamy to do it in a Jag...sigh...
Dana, that's hilarious -- I'd be sorry for the poor car, too! It's like seeing a race horse hooked up to a cart.
Diana, you have a point, too. "Rednecks in Rustbuckets," a new show from the Speed Network!
RG, I'd have gone ballistic. What is with the cell phone thing? What makes people so sure they really CAN talk and drive when the evidence is all to the contrary?
Cole, I'd pay money to see you on a Harley. *gg*
Raine, I drive a Mom-Mobile and it just breaks my heart when I pass a car that's built for speed. It just seems like the universe is tilted somehow, not letting those cars live up to their potential.
By Sela Carsen, at
9:09 AM
I have a clunker of a car. It was nice when I got it, but now it has so many dents and dings, and well, it's just a little embarassing now.
But hey, no payments.
We're saving up until we can pay cash for our BMW. (Yes, I said "our." We have no need for more than one car...we barely even have a need for one. Gotta love public transportation.) I refuse to finance.
By 
, at
10:24 AM
I used to have a Benz that I adored. I swear the thing drove better when I went fast.
I know exactly what you mean.
Amanda, you're so going to enjoy it! Remember to drive fast!
Eva, I think you're right -- the faster you drive, the better they handle.
By Sela Carsen, at
7:55 AM