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Finding yourself

Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Been thinking. I know, a dangerous occupation. I may have strained something.

A fellow Diva, Jennifer Bianco, just had a revelation that she had been writing something that wasn't really her. She was writing romantic suspense, when it turns out that the thing that blends perfectly with her voice is 1st person mystery. She found herself.

I've been really dreading getting back into Daughter of Flame. Really dreading it. In that, why is this story not working, why am I getting nothing, kind of way. Because that's how I write. The words have to come from somewhere and wherever that place is, nothing is coming down the pike.

Daughter of Flame is a departure for me. It's a character-driven story, for one thing. It's got plenty of plot, but it's more heavily character focused than what I usually write, I think.

Also, it's a departure in tone. This is not a funny story. Really. Not even close. Oh sure, there are a few zingers in there, but this is no comedy.

I don't think I can write this right now. It's like River Bear. I already know that story is going to be difficult to write. It's lyrical, stylized, emotional and dramatic. Not my usual voice.

Doesn't mean I don't want to write it, but those two stories, Daughter of Flame and River Bear, are probably going to be stories that take years of on-again, off-again effort. Times when the right words come and when they don't, then I can do something else.

When I finally finish them, these two stories are going to be amazing. I can tell. These will be stories that move people, stories that linger. But not if I push them. These stories are deep magic and you can't force that.

Other stories are magic, too. Quick, bright magic -- the kind that makes life fun. I'm in the mood for bright magic right now and I've got just the story for it.
4/10/2007 08:33:00 AM : : Sela Carsen : : 9 Comments

9 Comments:

I love to read funny romantic stories but I can't seem to write them. I guess my muse is just not funny. I tend to write heavier stuff that comes from somewhere deep inside of me. Stories that demand a part of my soul in order to be written.

By Blogger Danielle, at 11:43 AM  

Poor dead Edgar Allan Poe.

Now there was a cookie monster for you.



Ivan

By Blogger ivan, at 9:11 PM  

Geez, I envy you.
My stories have issues with me trying to set them aside. They can get really insistent.

By Blogger raine, at 3:04 AM  

You don't think The Regency That Wouldn't Die is actually dead, do you, Raine? I've just learned to turn the noise down on those characters. It's taken years and I still want to pull them out every once in a while. But that way lies madness.

Ivan, you've completely lost me. I can usually think out of the box enough to understand you, but that one flew right over my head!

Danielle, different strokes for different folks. I keep coming up with these wonderfully deep and emotional plots and then suffer because I can't write them!

By Blogger Sela Carsen, at 3:35 AM  

Uh,

Amateurs "create".
Gifted amateurs copy.

Especially Poe and Maupassant.

Ivan

By Anonymous islandgrovepress, at 4:17 AM  

I really liked the idea of River Bear.

By Blogger Bernita, at 8:19 AM  

I should be so lucky as to "copy" like Poe and Maupassant!

Bernita, I love River Bear, but I just can't do it right now. I foresee that one being added to by bits and pieces for a few years to come. But I won't abandon it. It's too magical.

By Blogger Sela Carsen, at 9:00 AM  

Wow, I found my voice and inspired someone all in one week. I think I'm going to pass out. ;)

While I know I am a "funny" person in my personal life, I never allowed that quirkiness on a page. I, you and Danielle, was drawn to the emotional stuff. Throw in the suspense element, and my plots were dark and dismal -- just the way I like them.

But so was the writing and not in a positive way. It felt forced, as if I was expressing myself in ways that I *thought* a third-person, multi POV RS should sound like. It had nothing to do with me.

That pretty much sums up my personal struggles over the years of having to find who *I* am and not whom my family thinks I should be. After 39 years, you'd think it would have smacked me in the face. :)
I'm glad to hear you won't abandon your stories as well Sela. One day...

By Anonymous Jenifer Bianco, at 10:53 AM  

You're well read, Sela, but you might want to dig up old Guy de Maupassant's "The Horla".

Like the movie, "The Thing From Another World", Maupassant's short story still scares the bewillikers out of me.
The sense of invisible horror.

I used a bit of that awful feeling to produce a story I'd titled "Marjorie". It's reprinted on a permanent post on my blog, under the heading of "Ryerson, l967."

But then a lot of women didn't like the story and one critic, noticing I wasn't around at all when the story came out, said, "It's just as well you disappeared at publishing time. Pretty awkward effort." Heh.

Ivan

By Blogger ivan, at 11:00 AM  

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