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Oh, It Hurts to Breathe

Thursday, January 05, 2006
Oh my God, you guys! I actually have a stitch in my side from laughing so hard at this. Miss Snark posted a list of ... well, here's the quote: All true excerpts from stories submitted to Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine. (Spelling, punctuation, and syntax are all as in the originals.)

Weston was known for the firm but genital hold he had on his men. It was one of the reasons he was chosen for this mission over six other equally qualified men.

The afternoon was very calm but consolidated. The birds were singing but were not blithesome.

He groped in his trousers and came up with a dirty piece of trash which I thought he'd just throw away.

"Be good," he called after her as he bit back the tears in his eyes.

Instinctively, without thinking about it, he grabbed the woman and hugged her and then gave her breasts a couple of playful pinches. "Commander please," she said as she blushed and began yodeling.

Honestly, this is just a sampling. You're going to have to follow the link to see the rest of these howlers!
1/05/2006 09:27:00 AM : : Sela Carsen : : 5 Comments

5 Comments:

I read yours, then followed the link and read the rest to my husband. OMG, I feel frickin brilliant now! LOL!

Thanks for the wake up!
Dee

By Blogger Dee, at 10:58 AM  

The yodeling one was my favorite.

By Blogger Emma Sinclair, at 9:02 PM  

Yes... the yodel-odel-aye-eee-whooing got me too.

By Blogger Annalee Blysse, at 7:05 AM  

Oh man, those were laughoutloud funny. Thanks for sharing! I shall never doubt my writing abililties again!

By Blogger Kristen Painter, at 8:37 AM  

Ok, I confess--my fav was the guy with the firm but genital hold on his men... :-O

I'd actually seen this before your post, and was HURTING myself, gleefully lmao...
But then, I hate the idea of somebody possibly laughing at something I wrote, so I stopped.

(And holding it in was even MORE painful!)

By Anonymous raine, at 1:08 PM  

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